We're Number 1…For Bed Bugs, Third Year In A Row

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We love a high ranking here in Chicago, from top museums to best hot dogs to parades for our #1 sports teams, we pride ourselves on being a "world class city," as our Mayor likes to say ad nauseam. But one ranking we've earned for the third year in a row only has our skin crawling instead of celebrating.

A recent ranking by bug and pest combatants Orkin named Chicago number one on their list of top 50 worst cities for bed bugs. For the third year in a row. This comes only months after Orkin named us the "rattiest city," with the most rodent treatments performed over a period of 12 months.

As NBC5 Chicago reports, Orkin ranked U.S. cities by the number of bed bug treatments they performed last year. Treatments were reported in our city at a number of places that make us want to hide in a sterile environment and never interact with another human ever again a school, library, movie theater, public transit vehicles, police headquarters and your generic downtown office buildings, according to Orkin.

Ron Harrison, an Orkin entomologist and director of technical services, had this horrifying news to say about bed bugs:

So basically no one is safe. Thanks for the nightmares, Ron.

Orkin reported an 18 percent increase in the bed bug business last year, showing that nationwide there was an increase in treatments, with Americans spending much more in recent years. In 2013, the U.S. spent $446 million on bed bug treatments, a significant increase from just $70 million a little under a decade ago in 2004.

Rounding out the top five cities after Chicago were Detroit; Columbus, Ohio; Los Angeles and the Cleveland, Akron and Canton, Ohio area.

Orkin does have some tips for helping to keep your home as bed bug free as possible. They suggest you inspect your home regularly, checking locations where bed bugs hide during the day including furniture, mattress seams, bed sheets, behind baseboards, electrical outlets and picture frames. Decreasing clutter in your home will also make inspecting for bed bugs easier. Make sure to dry potentially infected fabrics like bed linens, curtains and stuffed animals on the highest temperature setting allowed for each of those fabrics.

If you are traveling, a prime scenario where bud bugs like to hitch a ride home with you, Orkin has a handy "S.L.E.E.P." method to use. Survey the hotel room for signs of infestation, Lift and look in bed bug hiding spots, Elevate luggage on a rack away from the bed and walls, Examine your luggage while repacking, and Place all dryer-safe materials from your luggage in the dryer at the highest setting for 15 minutes when you return home.

So remember, keep your shit clean, go all Nancy Drew on any hotel room you stay in and constantly scrutinize any small fleck of dust that could be a bed bug and try not to freak out. And if you end up winning the worst lottery ever and acquiring bed bugs, deal with it as quickly as possible. And realize that it will suck, since we've seen a few friends go through this scenario before.

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We're Number 1...For Bed Bugs, Third Year In A Row