22 Classic Board Game Commercials More Fun Than Their Games

Two days later and we still have Super Bowl (commercial) fever. We've been on YouTube for days feeding our hunger for awesome Super Bowl ads new and old. And as we traveled further down the rabbit hole, we stumbled across some wonderfully over-the-top commercials from the '80s and early '90s--most of them promoting the SUCKIEST board games ever.

It seems as if every board game company from 1980 to 1996 spent 4 percent of their budget on developing the game and 96 percent on coming up with a kick-ass commercial. And the best part is how they all end with some snotty kid exclaiming, "I win!" But they never show the real outcome, which is one smug, happy child and three other kids crying and/or throwing pieces across the room.

Well today, everyone wins because we're rolling out the nostalgia trunk and have 22 awesome board game commercials from our childhood (or even before some of your were born).

Crossfire

This is still the gold standard for exciting board game commercials. That jingle gave us seven words and a lifetime of sing-alongs. Crossfire was the most fun way to get carpal tunnel pangs until we were old enough to masturbate.

Shark Attack

"Ya know what, let's dispense with this 'counting all the dots' nonsense and just do a color-coded die." This was not a fun game for your colorblind friend.

Thin Ice

The crappiest game ever made: The main components were marbles and a GD wet tissue.

Mouse Trap

If there's one thing kids love, it's meticulously constructing a Rube Goldberg machine. Since nobody ever actually finished putting the booby traps together, we always assumed this ad was documentary footage of the only time the game was actually played by real human children.

Tornado Rex

This was one of those overwrought games that the neighborhood "kid with all the cool toys" had. This kid also had one of those "Ghostbusters" proton packs and the Vortex Whistler.

Guess Who?

"Hey, you wanna sit across from each other and ask yes or no questions for 10 minutes? Nah, me neither." Awful game, but the commercial made it seem amazing--until the disclaimer kills the dream: "Game cards do not actually talk."

Connect Four

How come this one didn't have a disclaimer saying, "Game pieces do not actually talk"? WHY ARE YOU TOYING WITH CHILDREN'S EMOTIONS LIKE THAT?

Crocodile Dentist

This ad was effective because the children seem to be legitimately terrified of the biting crocodile. Milton Bradley always said, "Fear makes for the greatest board games." Milton Bradley the baseball player.

Splat!

Any game requiring clay is way too labor-intensive to be fun.

The Grape Escape

All the tediousness of Mouse Trap combined with the clay-molding delicateness of Splat! Nobody owned this game. Nobody.

Battleship

Explosion sound effects! Variable skill levels! An entire generation could've told you a movie version will never top the drama of this commercial.

Perfection

Perfection--um, is that the game title, or the title of this commercial? All the '90s hallmarks are here: cheesy CGI, a "kooky" voice, neon shirts under blue blazers and LOUD NOISES. If you needed any more proof that our attention spans are rapidly degrading, check out the much more subtle ad from a few years earlier.

Operation

Medical malpractice never seemed so wacky!

Jenga

TELL ME this commercial didn't make you want to grow up so you could go to cool adult parties like this! Well, now you can.

Stack-a-saurus Nex

The game in which you stacked multicolored tiles like so many Parker Brothers dinosaur puns. Also, this "Jenga For Kids" commercial starred the gingeriest ginger kid in all the land.

13 Dead End Drive

If Clue and Mouse Trap had a baby, it would be left in a basket on the steps of a monastery because nobody would want it.

Knockout

Are the cartoon characters just skater dudes who happen to be doing construction in their spare time? Or are they construction workers who skate to work?

Bed Bugs

You're a kid and you think bed bugs are just so hilarious and cute. Then you grow up and move to New York City. It's a metaphor for life, really.

Rock Jocks

This was another toy to cash in on kids' love of anything that stretches (see also: Silly Putty, Stretch Armstrong, jeans with elastic waistbands).

Loopin' Louie

Honestly, we don't remember this one and have no idea what the hell is going on here. Kind of like how our parents view "Louie."

Sorry!

If those anthropomorphized pieces were true to life, they'd be screaming "f*** you!" and flipping the board over.

Picnic Panic

Wouldn't you just love to be in the concept meetings for this crap?

+ Follow MTV Clutch on Twitter, Tumblr and Facebook

Tags 80's, 90s, board games, Commercials, Nostalgia, Super Bowl commercials, Toys

Originally posted here:
22 Classic Board Game Commercials More Fun Than Their Games